PS: I love listening to Marathi Songs. Sometimes there are songs I relate to and derive the meaning for myself, related to what I am doing… This is one such song by Shri Sudhir Phadke… and it goes like this….

**Aakashi zhep ghe re, pakhara

sodi sonyacha pinjara**

For quite some time I have been thinking of becoming a freelancer. I want to write. To be a professional writer, trainer. I also have the requisite skills and motivation. But, I also have a job. A job that provides me monetary and emotional stability. The reason behind why I get up every morning. And yet it restricts me from what I want to do, to become. And so I call it my “sonyacha pinjara”. A golden prison! Yes!.

** tujbhavati vaibhav, mayaa

fala rasal milate khaya

sukhalolup zali kaya

ha kuthvar vedya ghesi aasara **

At the end of every month, this job provides me a fat 😉 paycheck and all the luxuries associated with the paycheck. I can eat the food I want, and shop for the things I desire.

Along with monetary stability, it is a source of my status, of what I am. I often wonder, what am I without what I do.?

But for how long will I be happy with these luxuries. At the end of my life when I ask myself what I have achieved, will these be counted as my success? Years of working and creation of wealth……for somebody else?

** ghar kasale hi tari kaya

vish saman moti chara

mohache bandhan dvara

tujha aadavito ha kaisa, umbara**

What I consider luxury today, is it luxury at all? Rather it is the poison that is slowly but surely sucking out all my creativity, motivation and drive to succeed.

When I spend close to 12 hours being associated with this, is this how my second home is supposed to make me feel?

And yet every morning I find myself reluctantly pulling my self out of my home to come to office.

** tuj pankh dile devane

kar vihar samarthyane

dari, dongar, hiravi raane

ja oalandun ya sarita, sagara **

I have the knowledge and the capability to go after my dreams. I know my direction and the path I want to follow. That is where all my efforts and determination should be directed towards. I should take up the challenges and face the world.

** kashtavin fal na milate

tuj kalate, pari, na valate

hrudyat vyatha hi jadate

ka jiv bichara hoi bavara **

The road is not going to be easy. But then the dreams that I am running behind are also not ordinary. What saddens me sometimes is the fact that even after knowing all of this I still continue to do, what I have been doing and take no efforts to change the situation I am in and end up creating unhappiness for myself

** ghamantun moti phulale

shramdev ghari avatarle

ghar prasannatene natale

ha yog jeevani aala, sajira **

Just think of what all can happen once I break free from this prison! My efforts will bear fruits, my performance will not be fitted into the bell curve of the company, I will get all the benefits of my work, and satisfaction of doing what I like. I will celebrate each day as if it was an occasion!

What am I waiting for then? Break free my friend…Break free!

sodi sonyacha pinjara…..sodi sonyacha pinjara!!

Determined!

Abha Deshkar

22/5/2013