SHODH-the search….

I wrote this poem for a friend’s movie (shodh-the search) …2 yrs ago…

With guilt in the heart
And water in the eyes
I look and i stare
At the dark ugly skies……

I dont know what i want
But i am searching for something
A feeling that’s in me,
But is still unknown to me……..

I have forgotten what joy means
Happiness is a feeling of the past
The present seems uncertain,
And the future dark…………….

This world fails to please me
I have never felt this way before
Nobody understands me out here,
I dont let anybody so near………….

Again i look at the sky,
And see myself as the cloud,
Shying away from the world,
But pouring my heart out……..

I am like a caged bird,
Crying out for help
The people out there look and laugh
Thinking i am enjoying myself…………

Not the heart, the teeth are smiling
Not the soul the face is shining.
But i still cannot complain can i,
For i am still trying……

We search for many things
To fill the void within
We collect our earthly wares
But find emptiness within…..

The heart sings a lonely song
A sense of losing all along
Like a white washed wall i want to start all over
This time round a bit slower……….

Abha Deshkar
september 2007…